Ren
Junior Member
Wow it's been awhile :o
Posts: 74 
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Post by Ren on Feb 5, 2014 21:31:58 GMT -5
I'm still hung up over my ex. We dated for a year, and broke up almost a year ago. We are still friends and we Skype all the time. We even visit one another. She has admitted that our relationship left her insecure and scared, especially when her mom found out. I broke it off to help her try and get over it with the intention of giving it another shot one day. Then when we went to a convention last summer, she met this guy. They've been dating six months now. I am happy that she's happy, but I still love this girl with all my heart. Some days I am fine with how things are, then there are days like today where I just want her back. I guess I just don't know what to do anymore about the whole situation. We are still best friends, and she still wants us to visit each other and all that stuff, I'm just really confused.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 23:11:50 GMT -5
That's a real dilemma and I'm sorry your heart is in confusion. It's good that you love her enough to want her to be happy even if it's not comfortable for you. You're doing the right thing there but as far as your heart is concerned.......I think more time is what you need. So let your heart feel they way it wants and take it one day at a time. Hope this wasnt corny. I wish you the best  |
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Feb 5, 2014 23:36:33 GMT -5
this is a tough one. i think it would be helpful for you to take a step back from your friendship. i think if things keep going the way they are, you are only going to fall deeper and that might end up hurting you more (and we don't want that!)i think you just need to teach yourself how to view this girl as only your friend. which is so hard! (i've been in your shoes before and it took me a while to actually take my own advice). hope my ramblings helped you at least alittle bit! good luck and if you ever need to talk i'm here!
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Ren
Junior Member
Wow it's been awhile :o
Posts: 74
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Post by Ren on Feb 5, 2014 23:42:45 GMT -5
I appreciate the advice! It's a slow process that is really hard at first! I'm working on it though! It's been a hard process to really get over her initially, and then visiting her in person kind of sparked emotions again.
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Nikki
New Member
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Post by Nikki on Feb 8, 2014 12:44:58 GMT -5
You're really in a tough situation! Trying to be friends with an ex is extremely difficult, especially when they start dating new people. It's possible to be friends with an ex, but only if you're strong enough to handle all aspects of that friendship! My ex broke up with me six months ago and moved onto her best friend from college a couple weeks later and they've been in a relationship ever since. She's still trying to keep connections with me, but I'm not a strong enough person to keep her as close as she once was to me. My best advice to you would be that you may want to give yourself some space from her. I think that'll be best for you because you definitely don't need any extra stress or sadness in your life and if you continue with the friendship at the rate you're going it may be harder on you. Distancing yourself from another person can hurt, but it may be exactly what you need!
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Post by elliebelly on Feb 9, 2014 14:27:26 GMT -5
That sounds really confusing for you. Unfortunatley nothing in life is ever black or white. Does she know you still have feelings for her? You might need to distance yourself a little, don't completely cut yourself off but just take a step back. If you're constantly talking to her and hanging out you'll always hold on to that slither of hope and you wont be able to really get over her. Time does heal everything. Good luck I hope it all works out(:
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lara
New Member
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Post by lara on Feb 10, 2014 17:07:50 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're feeling so confused ! I think that taking a step back is great, but you also need to not overthink it (easier to say than to do, I know  ). If you are sure that she is really happy and don't want to bother her, it's the best thing to do. But if you know that she could have feeling for you or anything, maybe you should talk to her and explain her why you can't be as close as you were, otherwise you're hurting yourself Hope I'm not mistaken and this help |
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Ren
Junior Member
Wow it's been awhile :o
Posts: 74
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Post by Ren on Feb 11, 2014 14:07:54 GMT -5
I really appreciate everyone giving such helpful and constructive advice!I have an update on the situation: I talked to her about it. All of it. She accepted all of it very easily, even confessed that "some part of her has and will always see me and love me in a romantic way," but as I stated before, she's together with someone. I ended up going into a slight anxiety fit last night and vented to my other best friend, contradicting the idea that I want my ex to be happy even if it isn't with me. I guess now I have started a whole new problem. ^w^;
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). If you are sure that she is really happy and don't want to bother her, it's the best thing to do. But if you know that she could have feeling for you or anything, maybe you should talk to her and explain her why you can't be as close as you were, otherwise you're hurting yourself